some dog jokes...
Mood:
mischievious
Topic: lazy thoughts
Sick Dog
A couple buys this cute little dog. They take him home and two days later the dog becomes very lazy. It won´t eat, doesn´t bark, heck it doesn´t even move at all.
So the couple decides to take the dog to the Vet. The Vet looks at the dog and then lays it on the floor. He then brings a cat into the room and sets it beside the dog. The cat crawls all over the dog for several minutes and then runs around the dog four times before the Vet picks up the cat and puts him back in his cage.
The Vet then turns to the couple and says, "I´m sorry to tell you this, but your dog is dead... That´ll be $225.00."
"$225.00?," screamed the outraged man. "You expect me to pay you that much just to tell me my dog is dead?"
The Vet replied, "It´s only $25.00 for the office visit and $200.00 for the Cat Scan."
A Dog's Job
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him.
The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job."
"Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!"
"No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he'll have me answering the phone too!"
The Momentous Question
For months Bill had been Lynn´s devoted admirer. At long last he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the momentous question.
"There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," Bill began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one´s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one´s joys and sorrows."
To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn´s eyes. Then she nodded in agreement, "I think it´s a wonderful idea! Can I help you pick out a puppy?"
Amazing Dog
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend. "He can´t swim.
Posted by terror-twins
at 15:13 JST
don't ask
grooming
sad
cheeky
cool
energetic
hug me
vegas lucky
not sure
smelly
sharp
celebratory
on fire
caffeinated
